I often wonder who the hell qualified me for this job? I mean, come on, I had no formal training and the role models I had make Mommy Dearest look good. But I'm here and somehow I keep popping out kids like there's nothing to it. Yee haw!
I have taken a parenting classes class or two in the interest of, you know, learning more about my profession. I thought I'd share the one thing I keep hearing:
I can do that. I can totally do consistent. I'm consistent with my sarcasm. I'm consistent with my creative discipline. I'm nothing if not consistent with my neuroses. Phew. Something I can handle straight out.
So new parents - listen up! Heed this advice. Be consistent. Like if you said you don't want them juggling knives then don't change your mind an hour later or even when they are 10 and start to think they know everything. Oh, oh and like when your baby cries for candy and you are like totally denying her because that's what a good parent, who has to face a totally judging dental hygienist, would do, don't suddenly pop a piece of taffy in her mouth because you can't stand the screeching anymore. Also because then she might get it in her hair and no, peanut butter doesn't get out taffy, that's for bubble gum apparently.
In Memory of Chris Keith
7 hours ago