Thursday, March 5, 2009

Fits R Us

We all do it. The kids, the parents, all of us. The difference is the abandon with which we throw our fits.

My 5 year old throws fits with total abandon that look like the Tasmanian devil has suddenly appeared. At 2 I had to remove all the cute kid furniture like the little table and chairs and the kid sized hall tree she hung her dress-up on because she would pick them up and CHUCK THEM across the room in her fits of rage. At 3 she kicked a hole in her wall. NOT ok. BUT her fits are short lived. 10 mins max and she doesn't hold grudges.

Almost 10 year old throws restrained fits that look like a volcano erupting. Seriously. She will rumble and rumble and finally spew as hurtful of words as she can think of (these have gotten more sophisticated over the years) like we are yucky or her sister is stupid or the favorite, she hates this family. Gasp! Of course there are tears involved because these girls can turn on tears like sprinklers on a switch. She will get sent to her room where you won't really hear anything, but you WILL get the ICE COLD shoulder for a day or two. Oh and the LOOKS she can throw should be patented. They will someday have the power to kill.

So far the baby looks like her fits are short, loud bursts and easily stopped. No long crying sessions like we saw with 5 year old at this age but certainly not the silence we saw at this age with almost 10 year old. Looks like we got 3 completely different versions. Yipee.

I most likely resemble a bomb. A very predictable bomb. They all KNOW how to set me off. Then, just as the neighbor is dialing 911, everyone scrambles and then I'm O.K. Mostly I just want to see them MOVE. Hey, I give them logical warnings like, "Cut the crap RIGHT NOW. " Or the eerily calm, through clenched teeth, "You will listen to what I am saying." I LOVE when I can pull off the scarier-than-Jason-the-psychopathic-killer calmness. So effective, but hard to count on all the time.

But having a fit doesn't necessarily suck. Fits can get a point across or let off steam when needed. We all get in our grooves and sometimes someone has to holler or thrash around a little to wake us up. "Hey YOU! Listen. To. Me." Or, "Look down here! Here, here, here!!" Or a little bit of, "What the FUCK?!" Can be useful here and there. Don't you think?

6 comments:

The Mother said...

A well-timed fit can produce excellent results.

But we as women do need to remember to use them sparingly. Otherwise, our husbands roll their eyes and start muttering something about hormones.

When we throw a fit, we want them to LISTEN, damn it, not chalk it up to feminine emotionalism.

So, sparingly, but with big teeth.

Quinn said...

LOL!, My oldest son Quintin used to stomp his foot on the ground as hard as he could and if I would ignore it he would stomp even harder. Until of course one day he actually hurt his foot.

Elijah was a "tosser", he would throw stuff all the time. One time he threw his "sippy" cup and it hit me square in the forehead. He at least was smart enough at that point to take off running as fast as he could. After the shock and pain subsided my first thought was "Damn! that was good shot" :)Oh, and Eli was also the one who pulled off and broke the automatic sliding door at the entrance of Stater Bros. once.

My daughters however, throw more tantrums now that their teenagers than I ever remember when they were younger. Go figure.

dhcoop said...

LOL!

I was fortunate in that my daughter was never one to really throw a "fit". She did, however, have the "looks" down pat. Cold shoulder? Yep, she knew that one too.

Anonymous said...

Hello your oldest and dearest sister here, trying this comment thing. Mia was the champion fit thrower. Her first one was at six weeks old, in the pediatrician's office, who said she'd never seen someone so young throw a tantrum. As an infant she would scream until the capillaries in her face burst for no apparent reason. As a pre-schooler she would scream and kick her door for hours until she fell asleep. Again with no apparent reason except that the earth rotated in a way that she hadn't approved. So far as a teen, she's fairly reasonable and relatively calm. Here's to hoping that we already paid those dues.

Katey said...

This was a beautiful piece. Music to my mama ears. Though I think I need to see video of beloved Lucy having a tantrum in motion.

In my household right now the tantrum award is going to the 5 year old. The 13 year old has the teenage tantrum down perfect and the 9 year old is perfecting the male tantrum of storming to the room and slamming door with heated words kinda tantrum. But alas the 5 year old has cornered the blood curdling screaming in anger with an eye for an eye mental twist kinda tantrum. Like "I AM GONNA SPANK YOU BACK BECAUSE YOU DONT LOVE ME OR ELSE YOU WOULD NEVER HIT ME AND YOU CANT SPANK ME SO YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL CAUSE I AM GONNA SPANK YOU BACK NOW AND SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT". My husband and I are thinking we should just take up drinking now because the 3 year old is now beginning to take notes and starting to sample his own tantrum routine.

And indeed even parents toss tantrums though yours sound more awesome compared to mine. I am more a tea pot kinda person where the kids push and push and it builds and builds and I send warnings upon warnings and then BOOOOOOOOM and all hell opens up and the wrath could part so much water even Moses would be impressed. Does not happen much but indeed does happen and I am certain when my kids are older one of them is gonna write a book called "Holy Fucken Shit She Was Gonna Kill Us".

jeanie said...

My secaond son was the worst, I would got to grab his sholder and he would fall to the ground and yell"why did you push me!" This he did many times. My daughter would throw herself to the ground and roll and kick. She didn't throw stuff, she would just kick at it. The worst was her scream once in car seat. She had an Aretha Franklin scream, break your earsdrums. People would freak if you gave them a ride, ask to let out and all. Those are great memories only.