Tuesday, March 3, 2009

A Little About Nothing and Sheets and Vodka

I am trying to write and answer my email and catch up in Twitterville. Consequently, I have 42 abandoned entries and nothing to post. Meanwhile, the baby is bringing me random things from around the house. What was an empty counter at which I sat with only my computer and a cup of tea is now covered with: a phone, 2 movies - 50 First Dates & Josie and the Pussycats, 3 different pieces of tupperware with 5 different lids, the remote control, "Beginning iPhone Development", "Flat Belly Diet", a karate shoe, "Hello, Cupcake!", a lunch box, a rubber frog, an assortment of what were clean dish towels and cloth napkins, a brush, a stuffed cat, a platic seahorse and a sock.

What the fuck?

Is she trying to help with inspirational offerings? Is she commenting on the inconsistencies in my book collection? Maybe she is cleaning up for me? THAT is what I need. A fully trained 1 year old maid. Yes!

On a whole other note. How often do you guys change your sheets? Really. This topic was brought up with the last post and the whole mopping thing. Which THANK GOD I will never, ever have to do again because I'm well known for sticking to my word. But really, when do you change your sheets? Like regularly? On a schedule? When they smell funny? When they LOOK dirty? When they disintegrate into dust and threads? I'm just wondering if my practice of changing them when the 5 year old begs me to is so off base.

Also, I found a cool way to save money and survive parenting...http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Vodka

11 comments:

dhcoop said...

LOL! I love the image of the little babe bringing you all those things!!

Jogger said...

Ok, that's funny...the baby delivering you random things from around the house.

I change my sheets weekly on either Saturday or Sunday. I'm probably a little psycho about it, but you read my blog. You know that I have a really hairy dog. He isn't allowed in/on/around/near the bed, but his rogue dog hairs get **everywhere**, and I get totally geeked out when I find them on my sheets. Changing the sheets weekly seems to combat this psychosis.

Peeved Michelle said...

Kenna has learned from Mommy. If she doesn't know something's purpose, it's "trash." If I hear her say, "Trash!" and head toward the kitchen, I have to go find out what it is that she is about to throw away.

We change our sheets every three weeks. Rather, our sheets get changed every three weeks when the housekeepers come and do it for us.

The Mother said...

I have a kid with ADHD who picks up everything to fiddle with it and never brings it back to me.

Someday, when he goes to college, I'll find a stash of stuff, like a magpie. Until then, I'll have to use my cell phone without the clip, because the allen wrench that screws it on mysteriously disappeared...

Katey said...

OMGosh this post made me LAUGH OUT LOUD as I also pictured a small child bringing you crap and knowing the look on your face was (I am sure) a sincere "What the hell are you into child!"

Katey said...

As for the sheets.. I am a bad bad homemaker when it comes to sheets. I was raised to think the sheets needed to be changed on a week to week basis but given I have 5 complete beds to change each week, this idea lasted about a month and then I was done. Done. Nowadays the sheets walk themselves to the laundry room or so my husband swears but in truth I tend to change them every 2 - 3 weeks.

nicole said...

i change them once there are so many crumbs that there is no place to kick them to :)

AmyAnne said...

Ha! See, I'm not some unsanitary freak of nature. Sure, in a perfect world we would have fresh, pressed sheets daily, but good god, who has time for that?! Besides, I'd mostly rather poke my eyeballs out with a fork than change those damn sheets.

"Trash" - haha! That sounds like a great trick to teach Ruth! Dude, that would totally give Dean heart palpitations! Hahahaah...I'm dying just thinking about it!

Anonymous said...

omg-Amy.
I got excited about the posibilities of making some quick moon shine in my kitchen w/ some old potatoes. Then I saw I actually had to read a whole bunch of stuff that made my eyes cross AND go find a vodka distillery or a fatory or something.
No can do.
And what's this about sheets? I solve the problem by just never using them.

Miss Port Lucaya said...

Amy, that's me, the anonymous comment...I pushed wrong button. Didn't want you to have that stalker feeling.

Ann said...

I think she is clearly sending some sort of message, but in code. Baby code, which I just cannot crack.

Okay, my sheets are changed every 3 weeks by our house cleaner. It seems to be enough...but I wonder. I DESPISE doing sheets and making the bed, so I really have no choice bc I embrace this particular hate.