Interview With A Mother

The chick who is putting together THE Mother's Handbook. Who has survived medical school AND raising 4 boys. Who's site, The Mother's Handbook, can offer you sound advice about anyone in your life who is making you miserable. Has sent me an interview that will either make you love me more or send you scurrying off never to be heard from again...

She called it, Interview With A Mother.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever done with duct tape?
You know it makes good handcuffs, right? But maybe the weirdest was when, being a flat chested Betty, I needed some good cleavage for a costume and I vaguely remembered reading that beauty pageant gals use duct tape for lift. Indeed, I took a long piece and taped my cute little tatas (this was before children when they were less platypus like) together. Let's just say that direct contact with sensitive skin and duct tape is not recommended.

10 year old says it was when I patched up her shoe where her big toe was hanging out and made her wear them forever because I couldn't get to a store. Which is surprising because she always tells the 5 year old the story about how I once duct taped her fork to her hand for the rest of our meal after she had dropped it 10 times in 2 minutes - with food on it!

If you could have one superpower, which one would you choose, and why? (and you can't cheat and use Sylar powers, either)
I should probably choose something like - to heal the wounded. But, man, would I like to fly.

What talent or skill do have that you would have to hide from the PTA (if you indeed belonged to the PTA)?
That I know anything, ANYTHING about tech support or web development. Heck, I keep that from most of my neighbors.

How did you meet your husband?
We met at Kmart. Technically we were both working at Kmart - in Humboldt County. Let me tell you, there is NOTHING worse than a discount store in a depressed community. Seriously, people just pop in to use the deodorant and then put it BACK ON THE SHELVES. Also, the boss liked to tell the story about a very large Samoan woman trying to shop lift a TELEVISION by hiding it BETWEEN HER THIGHS. She almost got out the door. True story. Yikes.

Anyway, I walked into the break room one day to get something out of my locker only to find my EX-boyfriend had left his shit in there AGAIN. His shit included a can of pringles. I picked up the can and dropped it and then proceeded to kick it all around the break room and gingerly replace it back into MY locker. I didn't know husband at the time so I didn't even acknowledge that he was sitting there during the whole thing just watching me. I walked out and the ex walked in to retrieve his pringles and was all, WTF? Darling husband never said a word. When I was introduced to him later on he said, "Nice work with the pringles."

Tell us one fact about him that explains why you haven't divorced his ass.
He looks hot on his motorcycle and can debate philosophical shit that I can't even wrap my brain around.

You have girls, which is a total trip for me. What career path would you just DIE if they chose?
Okay, you might think I'd say pole dancer, but really, I don't know if I'd have as much of a problem with that as I would if they decided to become corporate money grubbers who didn't give a shit about anyone or anything but themselves and their own bankroll. Really, they could do anything else and I'd be able to handle it - as long as they were happy.

If we follow the rules, I get to interview any of my readers that dare to ask. Muwahahaha...

Leave a comment telling me that you’re into the interview. I’ll email you the questions, you post the answers on your blog, and then you have to offer to interview YOUR readers.

Let's get to it.

P.S. Here is The Mother's interview - good stuff!