The baby is working on perfecting her manipulation strategies.
Look, what we have here is a baby that at her 1 week check up, I just had to asked the doc, "Hey doc, you ever hear of a newborn using sniffling and crying sounds to totally twist her whole freaking family around her pudgy little finger?" Doc said, "Why yes. I have personally witnessed it." Having watched her use her wiles on all of us for the past week, I totally knew he was right.
Right there, I looked at her and said, "Hi kid. You haven't really gotten to know me yet. Let me save you some time and fill you in. I'm not gonna' fall for it, so save it for the rest of the family." And so began the power struggle between mommy and one of the cutest damn babies ever.
I say "Bad Girl" and she looks up at me, with her shit eating grin and says right back, "Bad Girl!" I have to remind everyone that the number one family imperative is NOT to give the baby whatever she wants. She starts her fake little cry and suddenly everyone is throwing things at her..."Want water?" "Want crackers?" "What car?" "Want your ass kicked?" Oh wait, that was me.
Let me tell you, if for some reason she doesn't stay so f'in cute, she will definitely be able to bank on her wily little ways to get by.
Haters gonna get vagina-punched
6 hours ago