Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Potty Time

It's that time again. POTTY TRAINING. Poo in a sack. Pee in a cup. No diapers. Wet pants. Trying not to heave as you cut princess covered drippy, crap-filled underwear from your lovely baby's dimply butt. Wonderful imagery, isn't it?

I was unreasonably lucky the last 2 rounds. While I did have to handle some messes, my mom did round 1 of potty boot camp for me while I finished up my last semester in college. My mother-in-law did round 2 while I was hiking around Yosemite. I swear I didn't plan it that way, but damn it worked out well! Now I'm stuck with round 3. No more mothers to use and the other 2 are busy. Double damn.
She's only 19 months old so I'm not freaking out here. But she walks up to tell me when she's parking some bark and when she's done and if I've missed it. She watches all of us use the facility with apt attention and hands us the paper and waves bye-bye as our products do a happy little swirl into poopy-land. So, I'm going to do what I did with the other 2, pick up a potty for her to lug around the house for a few months before we pick a potty boot camp week.

Have you looked at the potties these days?! They sing songs. They travel. They are molded. They transform. They hold the toilet paper. They probably have one that will wipe your kid's ass for you. What the hell? Seriously. These things were not this complicated 10 years ago. I just need a miniature toilet look-alike that has a cup I can take out and, you know, rinse and sanitize. It doesn't need to play my kid's favorite Katey Perry song or do the pee pee dance with them. Seriously. Has everyone gone mad? I mean, really?


Peeved Michelle said...

We're planning to start after birthday #2 in August. I have no doubt she could do it now, but with the baby coming in a few weeks, we though it would be best to wait. I am hoping to skip the portable potty and training pants. I bought a kid-size toilet that goes on the regular toilet seat because she sometimes likes to sit on it now. We are going to let her sit there whenever she wants for now. Then, sometime after her birthday, we are going to do the cold turkey, no pants, pee on the floor potty training thing.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

Yes, everyone has indeed gone mad. Since when did we need to "esteem" bodily functions?

Get the old-fashioned kind, even if you have to buy it off of ebay. The new ones with all the bells and whistles are too distracting whacky.

When the clock strikes three years or thereabouts, they magically figure it out.

The Mother said...

I am not going to be any help on this one.

The one parental failing I have (feel free to snicker here) is that I have failed to potty train all four of my sons.

Not that my 21 yo is still wearing a diaper, mind you.

I sent them to my mom. It was either that or infanticide.

They didn't give a damn if they pooped in their pants at my house. At grandma's? You bet your poopy they cared.

I highly recommend the grandparent method of potty training.

Wendy said...

Yes. Yes, the whole world has gone mad.

My best suggestion? Wait another year. No, seriously.

I mean it. It's not a race, and changing nappies is easier than cleaning up "oopsies" and frustrating yourself and making her feel bad about herself.

AmyAnne said...

Oh hey. I'm totally not in a hurry. My other two just did it right around their 2nd birthday. I'll give it a go but rest assured if I meet major resistance I am not going to push it. I mean, come on, diapers are WAY more convenient in most cases. And if I could keep them in them through college to ward off the boys, I would.

Good thinking Michelle. New baby will equal a lot of creative "pay attention to me" and you don't want it to be because she just crapped herself standing on the escalator in the mall. Ewww.

Reinvent Dad said...

We didn't do too well potty training our kids at an early age. In fact, all four were about three when they finally got it! I was all set to say not to worry about it as you don't see too many five year-olds who aren't potty trained, but my wife just pointed out that one tremendous advantage for early potty training is that it doesn't become a control issue in favor of the toddler. I say, if they're ready and show ANY interest..go for it!

Katey said...

Seeing as my beloved 3.5 year old wanders around the house being comfortable with steaming crap in his diaper or even worse his pull-up, I envision being months from toilet training. Must be my kids cause my kids do NOT care about using a toilet. Never. I can remember doing boot camp with Christopher and that kid was stubborn as an ox and refused to use the toilet. We were certain he would be home schooled for elementary school cause he was still in a diaper but alas he one day changed his mind and never looked back.

Just think of all the freaking money we are gonna have once diapers are behind us forever.