Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Before It's Too Late...

I don't know. I'm still new in these blogging parts. You all probably get way more emails asking you to sell stuff than I do. I get a few here and there. There's this one for genetic testing that I keep getting. AND they reference the previous email like they are actually keeping track of their attempts to get a hold of me. Whatever. I'm like totally smarter than that. But they tried to get me with this:

Our Genetic Test service has been receiving overwhelming
response from parents who care about their children's
future
.


What they should know is I don't care as much about my children's future as I do about my own. As in, I'm just hoping I make it through raising them without going to jail. Know what I mean?

From: AmyAnne
Date: November 18, 2009 9:33:33 PM PST
To: Jane
Subject: Re: Did you receive my previous email?

Oh Hi Jane!

Wow. That sounds cool. I was wondering if we could use this Gene Profile thing on other people. You know, like boyfriends and potential spouses. Well like could you check whether or not someone has the "I leave my socks on the floor" gene or the "when I make a bowl of cereal every single cupboard door will be left open and all the boxes of cereal will be left on the counter for you to put away" gene? Oh man that would rock!

Ok how about this. I actually have an infant as well as a 10 & 6 year old. Now, I'm not so sure this would work with the other two, but how about we test the baby for the "my head spins and I spew out verses from the bible backwards when you ask me to do the dishes" gene. If she has it I totally know a nice couple I met driving through Kansas last year that said they were adopting. Apparently I'm Fertile Myrtle so I could make another one in short order.

Wow, I'm so glad you picked me to test on! My family is going to love this!!

Can't wait to take action with you soon!!

Hugs and kisses,
AmyAnne


On Nov 18, 2009, at 9:09 PM, Jane wrote:

AmyAnne,

Did you receive an email that I sent to you 2 days ago?
In case you miss it, here is the recap >>

-----------Recap---------------

I came across your site the other day & I am very impressed
by it. So I decided to contact you.
...
This is the world's fastest growing industry which is highly
praised by our President, Barack Obama.
...
Our Genetic Test service has been receiving overwhelming
response from parents who care about their children's
future.
...
You can join this historic launch now to enjoy the following
benefits:
...
Take action now before it is too late to join the launch.

Regards,
Jane Doe


6 comments:

The Mother said...

No one from the genetics business has contacted me about promoting their stuff.

Maybe that's because I have written several articles attacking the whole idea of using mommy bloggers to promote medical stuff they don't understand? Just a guess.

Psychopathy is clearly inherited. If we could just find the gene, it would, indeed, be a fine date screening technique.

And testing your newborns for the "teenage angst" gene could have lots of implications for the adoption front.

Or the abandon-your-kid-at-the-local-firestation movement.

A Lawyer Mom's Musings said...

So, did "the world's fastest growing industry which is highly
praised by our President, Barack Obama" Jane ever write you back? Such hooey!

Christa said...

I'm sure the 'Open every cupboard and leave all the cereal boxes out [in a puddle of milk] for someone else to put away' gene is the "Y" chromosome. Dang it.

Love your response to the junk email.

Elisa said...

She totally avoided the question, so I'm thinking they cannot deliver. I'd tell them to take a hike. Unless they can test for "I'll be rich and famous and be able to afford to pay for the lifestyle my saint of a mother deserves", in which case please give her my e-mail address.

Wendy said...

All I get are Viagra offers. Luckily my erectile dysfunction doesn't bother me too badly.

Michele said...

I recently got a pitch to do a link exchange with a porn site. Makes you wonder what these companies/promoters are thinking....