Comments on Parenting With Duct Tape: A Letter: Your Vagina, The Highway of Life

Oh, what a great letter! The whole two weeks thin...

2009-10-26T09:09:21.876-07:00

Oh, what a great letter!

The whole two weeks thing? I wish someone had done that for me. A dumbass California doctor sent me into a blind panic about how I was already dilated to a 2 and would probably give birth on the airplane during my move. An entire extended family nearly had a collective aneurysm over the worry.

Then I arrived in Oklahoma and my crusty 96-year-old OB/Gyn (the only doctor within 100 miles who would accept a 9-months-pregnant new patient) stuck two fingers violently up my hoo-haw while pushing so hard against my belly that I thought my baby would have brain damage & announced, "you have a month or so to go. No worries." What about the 2 cm??? What about...? To which he laughed his crusty laugh and said, "you aren't effaced even a tiny bit & the baby isn't in position. Go home and eat a cookie."

I didn't believe him. And so I sat around for 4 weeks thinking (trying to believe) I was in labor every ten minutes - and giving said extended family more & more wrinkles.

He was right. It was almost a month on-the-dot. And the day I was actually in labor? I got all the way to 4+ centimeters without noticing at all that the baby was practically between my knees - and my doctor made me go straight to the hospital from my appointment, where I had a baby shortly.

I was so blessed to be frantically trying to finish a college semester the first time around. I was praying for that baby to stay in just a little longer every single day in the hopes of making it to final exams still pregnant. It was a terrific distraction.

hahahahah! that's all i got, i'm drained ...

2009-10-25T19:18:53.195-07:00

hahahahah! that's all i got, i'm drained ;)

I agree with the lawyer mom's point about the ...

2009-10-22T05:28:44.208-07:00

I agree with the lawyer mom's point about the name. With my first (Jasmine) i got, "but you're white" i'm like wth? and "but that's a disney princess" to which i explained to them that she was my favorite and i got the name from watching the tv show after work...and this was before i had kids. sad thing is, that's true. And with my second (Joey) i got "oh like a baby kangaroo" yes. such a common name and someone still says that crap? ok! whatever!

Bravo. I would only add a few things: 1) when yo...

2009-10-21T19:23:43.011-07:00

Bravo. I would only add a few things: 1) when you extend your due date by 2 weeks, tell people that is your REAL due date so they'll stop bugging you about why you haven't had it yet; 2) keep the name you decide upon between you and your husband; don't tell another SOUL. Otherwise you'll just get a bunch of unsolicited criticism and suggestions.

Your models are incomplete. Really. I mean, your o...

2009-10-21T14:47:00.842-07:00

Your models are incomplete. Really. I mean, your oldest version is only 10 and that's not even close to sufficiently vetted.

Research demands complete understanding of the system. I really think that the poor woman deserves fully accurate information.

Therefore, in the interest of science and research and full disclosure, I am enclosing the full version, v15.0. (He dresses funny, but you'll get used to that. Stock waterproof mascara remover).

After spending some time with v15.0, you will have a MUCH better understanding of how the next 18 years of your life will go. Or at least those fun, FUN teenage years.

PS: If you are actually still considering doing this after several weeks with v15.0, I can send beta v18.0 on request.

He's enough to convince anyone to have a tubal.